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  • A lot

    Cartoon lighthouse-shaped lemonade stand on a rocky seaside cliff, shining a bright yellow beam over the ocean, with lemonade, scattered lemons and a rowing boat nearby.
    August 9, 2026

    A lot means a large amount, many, or very much. I have a lot of homework. She has a lot of friends. I like this song a lot.

    Lot alone means something else. A person’s fate. Not what they chose. What they were given. That was his lot in life.

    The difference between “a lot” and “lot” is one small space. But the meanings are not close. One is abundance. The other is destiny.

    I have a lot. And this is my lot.

    For a while I did not like my job. Not the work itself but the feeling of not putting my brain cells to use. The feeling of carrying tools and being told to put them down. I spent that time seeing it as a waste. A place I showed up to because Mr. Fingerprint Al-Scanner at the door required me to, and the salary at the end of the month required Mr. Al-Scanner.

    And then something shifted.

    I did not change jobs. The job changed shape. Or maybe I changed the way I looked at it. Because what I have now is something most people would design if they could build their perfect working life. I am paid fully. I work on what I want. I set my own priorities. I answer to almost no one. I am, for all practical purposes, my own boss. With the one exception of Mr. Fingerprint Al-Scanner, who still requires me to prove I exist every morning.

    The thing that made me not like my job turned out to be the thing that made it the best job I have ever had. I just could not see it while I was complaining about it.

    And maybe that is normal. Maybe we are not built to see our situations clearly while we are inside them. You need distance. Or time. Or a moment where the complaints run out and the quiet that follows lets you see what was always there.

    I am not saying every bad job is secretly a good one. Some jobs are bad. Some environments are toxic and the best thing you can do is leave. But sometimes, not always, the lemon is already in your hand and the only thing missing is the squeeze.

    Life gave me a lemon and I am squeezing it dry.

    The journal is full. The blog is producing. The workshop has projects. The Blueprints are being written. The tools I built are being used. The schedule that grew on its own is now holding weight. And all of it is happening inside the job I used to complain about. At a messy desk. Behind Mr. Fingerprint Al-Scanner.

    So after my one week of a mental vacation from the vacation, I am going back to it.

    In an earlier post I wrote about three words that describe a gut feeling about the future. Premonition: the feeling it will go wrong. Hope: the feeling it will go right. And presentiment: the feeling in the middle, unsure which way it will fall. All three are baseless. None have evidence. They are just a gut and a direction.

    Last time I started, I had a premonition. A dark sense that the pattern would repeat. That I would begin and stop and begin and stop and the weight would return and the structure would collapse. The pattern knew my name.

    This time the gut says something different. Not certainty. Not blind confidence. Just hope. Because this time the journal exists. The blog exists. The rhythm exists. And none of them existed the last time I tried. The evidence has not changed. The gut has. It is hard to have a premonition when your gut is full of happiness, also known as a dozen Japanese pancakes.

    But hope is not a plan, and a lot is not the same as forever.

    I have been posting almost every day. Some weeks more than that. It has been the most productive stretch of writing I have ever had, which is exactly why I need to be careful with it. The last time everything was going well, I did not see the block coming until it had already arrived. That is how it works. It does not announce itself. It waits until you are certain you are fine.

    So I am moving to two or three posts a week.

    Not because there is less to write. There is more. The Blueprints alone could run for months, and the workshop has things in it I have not mentioned yet. But the point of a rhythm is that it holds. A pace you cannot keep is not a rhythm. It is a sprint you have not finished yet.

    Two or three a week. Slower. Steadier. Still here.

    And to hold myself to that, I am redesigning the progress page. The keto. The training. The writing. The building. The reading. One page. Updated honestly. No hiding behind a good week. No skipping a bad one. Though what I realised is that I have been measuring it wrong.

    Instead of counting hours and pages and pretending the number meant something, I will be asking one honest question a week for each of the five: was I satisfied? None, some, or full. Nothing to game, nothing to round up.

    A lot of posts to write. A lot of tools to build. A lot of research to finish. A lot of pages to fill.

    Just not all of them this week.

    A lot. In both meanings. Abundance and destiny. Because sometimes they are the same thing.

    Write in the logbook
  • The View

    A child glowing in bright sunrise light above two blurred outstretched hands, with a distant lighthouse on a coastal cliff.
    August 8, 2026

    Karl Pilkington once said he would rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.

    Everyone laughed at him. I did not. I have been quietly agreeing with that man for years.

    Because I am a person who lives on views. Give me the ordinary room with the extraordinary window every single time. I do not need to be inside the beautiful thing. I need to be able to look at it.

    This is not a preference. It is how my head is built.

    I memorise by picture. In school and university I never learned a page by reading it over and over. I photographed it in my mind. I can close my eyes and tell you where the answer sat on the page, which side, how far down, what colour the heading was. The information came second. The image came first, and the information arrived attached to it like a passenger.

    When I draw, it is stranger than that. I see the finished image projected onto the blank paper. Not imagined. Projected. Sitting there, waiting. And I trace it. My hand is not creating anything. It is copying something already on the page that only I can see.

    And I build scenes. Constantly. The way Ally McBeal did, or JD in Scrubs. Full sequences with lighting and music and camera angles. I can run a hello and its matching goodbye in the same ten seconds. The reunion at the airport. The last look at the door. The slow-motion cliché from the action film. The one from the romance where the music swells and the crowd blurs.

    My head is a cinema that never closes.

    But there are forbidden things. Rules I do not break.

    Get your head out of the gutter. Not that.

    I do not create people.

    Not in real life. In fiction, of course I would. If I ever write that story I keep threatening to write, it will be full of them. Invented people doing invented things in an invented place. That is what fiction is for.

    But in my own head, about my own life, I do not build people who do not exist.

    I have never done it. Not once. I build rooms, streets, weather, cities, entire journeys. But I do not build a person who is supposed to be real, and I do not give anyone a name.

    Naming is the part I refuse hardest. It feels like naming the Eid sheep. You know how that goes. A child names it, feeds it, sits with it, and then the day comes and the family has to explain something to a crying seven-year-old that no family has ever explained well.

    A name makes something yours. And anything that is yours can be taken.

    So I do not name what I have not been given.

    Until recently, when I committed half a sin.

    She visited.

    I did not invite her. She just appeared, the way images do in a head like mine, and I did the thing I had never done before.

    I did not kick her out.

    I let her stay. I let her play. I let her settle into my eyes and my ears and stain them.

    At first I thought I knew her. Red hair, like my mother’s, sitting the same way. Freckles in the exact places my mother’s sit, as though someone had traced them.

    So I filed her where she seemed to belong. A face from the family. Something remembered rather than built.

    But she kept coming back, and each time something was slightly off.

    The red was not quite my mother’s red. Half a shade away from it. The freckles were in the right places but there were fewer. Everything was close, and nothing was exact. Like looking at a photograph of someone you know and not being able to say what the photographer got wrong.

    Then I looked at her eyes.

    My mother’s are greenish light brown. Steady. The same colour in every room she has ever stood in.

    These were not that.

    These went green, then blue, then grey, then honey, and back again. They would not settle. Not a colour so much as an ongoing argument with the light.

    I have been looking at those eyes for years across a dinner table. I still could not tell you what colour they are.

    They are my wife’s.

    And that was the moment the whole thing turned over. Because I had not remembered this child. There was nothing to remember. My mother’s hair and my wife’s eyes have never been in the same face.

    That face does not exist yet.

    I had built her. Without deciding to, without noticing, the one thing I do not do.

    After that I could not leave her alone.

    I went back to carry her. To throw her in the air and catch her, which is the only exercise I have done consistently in years. She has an angelic smile and a quiet laugh, the infectious kind, the kind that makes the room laugh before anyone knows what happened. And a calm, gentle way of being in a room without needing the room to notice her.

    That one is her mother too. My wife has walked into every gathering of our lives without raising her voice once, and somehow everyone knows she is there.

    The girl has it. She inherited the quiet.

    I visit her often now. More than I should. She is the best thing my head has ever built and I did not build her on purpose.

    But I have not named her. I’m struggling with that. As they fly from time to time.

    But I will do my best to not commit the second half of the sin.

    Because if I name her, she becomes mine. And if she becomes mine, then one day she might not come, and I will have lost something with a name. Or she might arrive as a he, and then I will have spent years loving someone who never existed while a boy I would die for stands in front of me wondering why his father looked disappointed for half a second.

    So no name. No claim. Nothing that can be taken.

    Just unsettled eyes and red hair and my mother’s freckles and her mother’s quiet and a laugh I have not heard yet.

    She won it, though. Out of every image my head has ever built. Every sunset, every skyline, every scene with the music and the lighting and the perfect camera angle.

    She is the best view I have ever had.

    And she is the one view I would leave the window for.

    One day.

    إن شاء الله.

    For now let me enjoy what I have, a Slytherin with a little dancing bum.

    Write in the logbook
  • Fix the Table

    Aerial illustration of a white lighthouse beside a long outdoor dining table set for ten, surrounded by balloons, bunting, wildflowers, a buffet table, and a calm blue sea.
    August 7, 2026

    I never considered myself a fussy eater. Nor did I believe fussy eaters exist.

    I eat what I like. People eat what they like. Nothing fussy about that.

    I can eat grapes but I don’t want to because of the texture. That soft pop followed by the wet inside is not food. It is a sensory ambush. I can eat khalal but the sound it makes when you bite has no business being in a date. I can eat watermelon but my uncle ruined it by spitting seeds everywhere like a broken sprinkler. I can eat مخلل but my mother told us it is made from restaurant workers’ sweat. She was joking. I think. I can eat frozen yoghurt but the concept is wrong. The only frozen milky dessert is ice cream. Freezing yoghurt does not make it ice cream. It makes it confused. I can eat plums but they are so dark I cannot tell if they are rotten or ripe. And I can eat apricots but there are usually worms inside, waiting for me to bite.

    Not fussy. Fussy eaters do not exist.

    Until I met my niece.

    She is twelve. She goes through life with her lanky physique and I am genuinely confused by how a person can be that tall and consume that little. She must be photosynthesising.

    Eat this. No. Eat that. No. Try this. Never. Have some of this. Next time, I’m full.

    She is the ultimate party pooper. If I want to order food for our Thursday gathering, I cannot just pick a restaurant. I have to pick one that has at least one thing she will eat. One thing. On the entire menu.

    And she combines both types of fussy. The type that refuses specific foods entirely. And the type that eats two things separately but not together. She eats tomatoes. She eats burgers. She does not eat burgers with tomatoes. She eats rice. She eats chicken. She does not eat chicken on rice. Touching is not allowed. Her plate looks like a peace negotiation where both sides agreed to stay in their own territory.

    Now, I could have let this go. Accepted that she is who she is. But the tinkerer in me cannot leave a problem unsolved. I see something that does not work and my hands start moving before my brain decides whether they should.

    So I went deep.

    Science has a name for it. Food neophobia. Fear of new food. Twin studies show that genetics explain up to 78 percent of fussy eating. My niece did not choose this. She inherited it. Somewhere in her family tree, someone was saying no to a perfectly good plate and passing that no down like a family heirloom. Some of you are looking at the seven foods I just refused and doing the maths. Stop. Genetic inheritance can be traced back generations. The suspect could be any great-great-grandfather in the bloodline. It is definitely not me. I have investigated and cleared myself.

    Vegetables are the most refused food worldwide. Then fruits. Then meat. The least refused are carbohydrates and sweets. Bread, rice, pasta, chocolate. Which explains why every fussy eater in history has survived on some combination of bread and something sweet.

    But here is what changed everything for me.

    The research does not say fix the food. It says fix the table.

    Pressure backfires. Forcing, bribing, negotiating, even “just one more bite” increases refusal. Whether you are six or sixty. Think of it like a job. You will never do your best work in a place that makes you miserable. Put the same person in an office they love, with people they trust, doing work that does not feel like punishment, and they perform. Same person. Different environment. Food works the same way. A warm table where nobody is watching your plate, where the conversation matters more than the menu, where laughter is louder than chewing, that is where fussy eaters stop being fussy. Not because the food changed. Because the feeling did.

    The method is simple. Place the food on the table. Do not force. Do not comment. Do not react either way. Just place it there. Again and again. It takes between eight and fifteen exposures before a person accepts a new food. Most people around them give up after three. The fussiness was not born. It was confirmed.

    Nobody needs to become someone who eats everything. The goal is a few more foods. A restaurant without panic. A Thursday gathering without a special order. Making peace with the plate.

    So I will be putting on my chef hat.

    Every Thursday, it is my mission to introduce my niece to one food she has never eaten before. Not by tricking her. Not by forcing her. By cooking it in a way that might make her curious enough to try. And by making the table happy enough that trying feels safe.

    And when something works, I will post the recipe here.

    Recipes for fussy people. The ones where the thing they refuse is in there, cooked into something else, doing its job quietly and tasting like nothing they have ever objected to. The tomato that is not a slice. The vegetable that stopped being a vegetable somewhere around the second hour.

    Because the research is about the long game, and the long game is right. But some Thursdays you just want everyone at the table eating the same meal.

    If you have a fussy eater in your family, follow along. If you are the fussy eater, your brain is doing what brains do. Protecting you from something it has not yet learned to trust.

    And if you eat everything, you are either blessed or lying. And there are very few blessed people.

    Write in the logbook
  • Enough

    A glass snow globe containing a calm lighthouse island stands between violent storm waves, while warm lighthouse beams shine outward through the glass.
    August 6, 2026

    The siren went off one afternoon and I picked up my phone.

    I did not go looking for news. I have never gone looking for news. But my phone was already full of it before I unlocked it.

    The siren lasted one minute. It stayed in my head for weeks.

    Stage one. I never sought it. It arrived anyway.

    I had been switching back and forth between a dumb phone and a smart one for months. The dumb phone for focus, the smart one when I actually needed it. And every single time I switched back, the whole thing was waiting for me.

    My mother has a WhatsApp forwarding operation that would embarrass every fake news account on Instagram. Voice notes. Screenshots. Videos with someone shouting over them. A photo of a text message that somebody else screenshotted from a group nobody can identify. All of it arriving faster than the official announcements.

    Then the family groups and the friend groups. I am in almost none of them, which did not help, because the few I am in were loud enough for all of them. Then Instagram and YouTube, which decided that what I needed between a recipe and a car review was thirty seconds of a man explaining regional strategy with a map behind him.

    And when I was on the dumb phone and none of that could reach me, there was still my mother’s house.

    She sits me down next to her, turns the screen towards me, and starts playing. To educate me, as she says. There is no version of that visit where I leave uneducated.

    Then Thursday. The zwara. Where every single person had a theory, a source, and a friend who works somewhere sensitive.

    I did not subscribe to any of this. I did not open a news site once. It came through the door on its own and sat down.

    And I took all of it in. Every forward. Every screenshot. Every voice note that started with “الله يستر” and ran four minutes.

    I had more facts in my head than I have ever had about anything. And I could not do a single thing with any of it. My work stopped. My focus was gone.

    Stage two. The state got quieter. Everyone else did not.

    Then the official approach changed. Fewer details. Sirens only when there was a real reason.

    The information coming from the government became disciplined. Nothing else did.

    You would think that made things better. It made them worse. The moment the official updates thinned out, the gap filled with speculation. Fewer facts, more theories. My mother’s forwards doubled. The education sessions at her house got longer. Thursday became a full editorial meeting.

    And here is what I noticed. Nobody was forcing me to open a forwarded voice note.

    But I opened every one. Because it was there. Because someone had sent it to me personally. Because a new possibility had been raised and I felt I should at least consider it.

    Nothing was compelling me except the fear that somewhere, someone knew something I did not.

    And that someone was usually my mother.

    Stage three. I turned everything off.

    I stopped switching. The dumb phone stayed.

    But that only closes one door, and by then I knew it. So I made the laptop dumb too. No email. No websites. No YouTube. No news. No television. If it could deliver information from outside this house, I closed it.

    For the first time, the siren only sounded when there was a siren.

    And then I worked. I finished things. I could sit with one task long enough to complete it. I slept properly.

    There was one gap in the system.

    My mother is not a website. You cannot block her. She has no settings menu. She noticed within a day and a half that I had gone quiet and simply escalated to calling.

    So the news still reached me. It just arrived once a day, with commentary, from a woman who has never said “sources suggest” when she could say “I am telling you what happened.”

    Honestly, more efficient than everything I switched off. Same information, one phone call. And unlike the analysts, she never predicts anything, because she already knows exactly how it will turn out.

    But that was when I understood the whole thing.

    Stage three is the correct one. Not because I prefer it. Because it is the right arrangement. The state publishes what people need in order to act, and stops. The person takes what concerns him, and stops. When both sides do that, you get someone who is safe, calm, and able to work.

    Any other combination costs you at least one of those three.

    Plato said this two thousand years ago.

    In The Republic he imagines a just city divided into three groups: the people who produce, the people who protect, and the people who govern.

    Then he says the city is like a person. Inside each of us there is appetite, which wants things. Emotion, which reacts. And reason, which decides. The city works when reason governs. The person works the same way.

    But the part that matters here is what he says about stories.

    Plato did not think stories were harmless entertainment. He believed they enter the mind, stir the emotions, form habits, and shape character. So he argued that the stories given to children should be supervised. Stories that produce fear, panic, or admiration for the wrong things kept out. Stories that build courage and discipline allowed in.

    He was not talking about WhatsApp. But the question is the same one.

    What happens to a person when every warning, rumour, and theory is allowed in without limit?

    I know the answer, because I lived it for a few months. And so people around me that consumed it religiously.

    Information does not sit outside you as neutral knowledge. It enters. It creates fear. It changes what you do with your day. Whatever you consume repeatedly ends up helping to govern you.

    In stage one, everything was let out and I let everything in. In stage two, the state became careful and I did not. In stage three, I finally decided what was allowed through the door.

    That is the useful part of Plato. Not the ideal city. Just this: every one of us is already governing a small republic, and it is our attention.

    Inside it, appetite wants one more update. Fear wants one more warning. Curiosity wants one more explanation. Reason is supposed to decide what gets in.

    The question is not only whether something is true. It is whether knowing it does anything.

    Will it change something I have to do? Will it protect someone? Or will it just occupy the hours where work, family, and ordinary life were supposed to happen?

    And the truth is I already knew this.

    I did not discover it during those weeks. This is how I have always operated when I was at my best. The most productive versions of me were the versions with the fewest inputs. Every good stretch of work I have ever had came from a period where I was not consuming much of anything.

    I knew the rule. I just let go of it.

    One forward led to another. One warning became a whole day of attention it did not deserve.

    I did not need a new philosophy. I needed to go back to something I already believed and had stopped practising.

    Stay informed when the information asks you to do something. And do not hand your mind over to events you have neither responsibility for nor control over.

    Enough.

    Except my mother’s briefing. There is no schedule. There is no warning. There is only the briefing.

    Write in the logbook
  • 24

    Photorealistic white KEEPER thermostat mounted on a textured white wall, showing 24 degrees on a green backlit screen, with a bright sunlit window blurred in the background on the right.
    August 5, 2026

    The minister woke up one morning and said 24.

    Or he saw it on a licence plate. 24. Even. Round. Easy to say twice and remember.

    Or he asked the consultant. The one who knows everything. The one who was behind a shawarma grill last year and sits on four committees this year.

    None of that happened. And that is the point.

    Last month the Ministry of Electricity sent the usual message. Feeders failed. Two areas lost power. Set the air conditioner to 24 or higher.

    They have been saying 24 every summer since 2019. And in 2024 they stopped asking and started cutting, two hours a day, across forty areas. So it is not a slogan.

    Two weeks earlier, New York asked the same thing. Set your air conditioner to 78.

    78 Fahrenheit is 25.6 Celsius. Kuwait asked for the colder room.

    Kuwait says 24 because that is what the buildings were built for.

    When an engineer designs cooling for a building here, he assumes 45 degrees outside, 55 on the worst day, and 24 inside. That last number decides everything. The size of the ducts. The power of the unit. How much cooling the building can produce when it matters.

    So the ministry is not asking you to suffer. It is asking you to use the machine at the setting it was designed around. Below 24, you are asking the building a question it was never built to answer.

    New York says 78 because that is what the research says is comfortable.

    The number started in 1979 as an emergency order during the oil crisis. It was cancelled two years later. But it stayed, because the science caught up with it.

    ASHRAE, the American engineering body, spent decades studying how people actually experience temperature. Their comfort range for summer runs from about 22.5 to 26. Both 24 and 78 sit inside it.

    And every degree you raise the thermostat saves roughly one to three percent of your cooling bill. That was measured, not guessed.

    Two countries. Two completely different reasons. One and a half degrees apart.

    Does it work?

    Kuwait’s campaign took 30 megawatts off peak demand in 2025. Real. Also about 0.2 percent of a peak near 17,600 megawatts.

    New York asked and still had outages.

    Not nothing. Not enough.

    Because 24 is the cheapest thing a government can do and the only thing it can do this afternoon. The real answers are power stations, insulation, better compressors, and houses that do not leak. Those take five years and billions. 24 is what you do while you wait.

    Now the part that matters.

    Ask Kuwait where 24 came from and there is a building code. Ask New York where 78 came from and there is a comfort standard and an energy calculation.

    You can disagree with both. You can say 24 is too generous for a country heading toward 19,000 megawatts. You can say 78 is an old American number the rest of the world has no reason to inherit.

    But you can argue, because there is something to argue with.

    That is all evidence-based decision-making means. Not being right. Just being able to point at where the decision came from.

    Now count how many decisions we live under can do that.

    The requirement that changed. The circular that reversed last year’s circular. Ask for the study and you get a name. Ask for the name and you get a title. Ask for the title and you get a committee. Ask about the committee and you find the man.

    Last year he was selling shawarma. Or he was a حارس عمارة. Then someone knew someone, and now he is a consultant. The salary is 180. The allowances are ten times that, because the salary is for the job and the allowances are for the meetings, and there is always another meeting. He has never opened a building code. He does not need to. He has an opinion, a seat, and a signature down in the corner as two ugly tiny initials.

    His number becomes policy exactly the way 24 did. The difference is that when you ask where it came from, there is nothing at the other end. Just him.

    A number from research can be wrong and still be honest, because it tells you how it got there. A number from a chair is right until the chair changes.

    24 is not correct because it is 24. It is correct because someone can show you where it came from.

    Ask a number where it came from. The good ones answer.

    Fun fact. Setting the air conditioner to 16 does not cool the room faster. The machine removes heat at one fixed rate. No setting makes it work harder. All 16 does is keep it running past the point where it would have stopped.

    Elsewhere.

    WhereNumber
    Kuwait24°C
    UAE, Saudi, Qatar24°C
    United States78°F / 25.6°C
    India24–25°C
    China26°C
    Japan28°C
    France26°C minimum
    Spain27°C
    United KingdomNothing
    Write in the logbook
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  • The Lighthouse
    • My Progress
    • The Keeper
    • The Logbook
    • The Signal
    • The Beam
  • The Workshop
    • Merit Universities
    • The Names
    • The Desk
    • The Brew
    • The Bite
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